Color ME Kelly #4
Thorny Thursdays
Jen thought back on the day she came out to her family. She’d made a nice dinner of her mom’s favorite meal, spaghetti and garlic-bread. After cooking all morning and making the sauce from scratch, Jen thought the fifteen minutes it took to consume it sped by. When they were done the three of them settled in the living room. Jane sat in one of the club chairs and her mother in her designated place on the couch, where she could watch both the television and the happening of the neighborhood outside the huge window.
Jen took a seat on the other end of the couch. Her mouth was dry and she could feel her heart beat thumping loudly in her chest.
“Thank you for dinner, Jen. Why do I feel like you both want something?” Mom asked. “What’s the real reason for this little family gathering?”
At least she had expressed appreciation for her efforts and said thank you for dinner. The ladies had gotten to share a few minutes without conflict. The Peterson’s rarely ate together as a family, other than the holidays. Jane lived across town and was busy with college and her own life. Today, had been nice. Too bad Jen was about to ruin that peace.
She sat in the uncomfortable silence and rubbed her hands together nervously until she couldn’t stand it any longer. She looked at Jane, then her Mom and took in a deep breath. “I need to tell you something.”
Her mother’s eyebrows raised. “Are you moving?”
Would her mother be happy with that proclamation? How could she voice this one?
“I’m gay,” Jen blurted out.
She had a sense of relief for a second. She wasn’t hiding anymore. Pride surged into her jumbled emotions. But the lack of response wasn’t encouraging. She looked to her sister for help.
Jane shrugged. After a brief moment she added, “Well let’s be honest, you’re Bi, you dated guys in high school.”
Her mother didn’t say anything at first, staring at one daughter then the other. “Yes. I do remember that sweet boy named Shane.”
It hadn’t helped when her younger sister, put her two cents in. Jen didn’t agree that being Bi would give her mom any sense of hope. But maybe it had.
Mom stood and rubbed the back of her neck. “We’ll see,” Mom said before heading to the back door. “I ain’t giving up yet,” Mom mumbled before it slammed.
Jen rolled her eyes and glared at her sister.
“That went better than I thought,” Jane said.
Jane came over to the sofa and sat beside her. She opened her arms to give Jen a hug. She returned the squeeze of Jane’s embrace and peered over her shoulder and out the window. Her little sister was truly sweet.
Jen at least had some support. Out the back window another plume of smoke dissipated into the sky. She knew Jane was wrong. Their mom was holding onto an enormous false hope.
~~~~~~~
That had been a year ago, it seemed Jillian Peterson still held onto what she wanted for Jen. But then she hadn’t kicked her out of the house. She’d made an effort to give her a space of her own.
Jen ignored her mother’s departure from the basement and concentrated on the more pleasant task at hand, getting ready to see Kelly. As she rifled through the hangers trying to find the perfect outfit, she wished for a proper closet with a door. How much longer would she be stuck in this basement, in this life, in this limbo?
Jen finally settled on a bright yellow shirt with pastel paint splatters in random patterns across the bodice. The pink collar went perfectly with her favorite hot-pink high-top tennis shoes. After a shower she chose a group of dangly copper bracelets that went with her necklace. She smiled at the cowbell charm on it. She chuckled to herself. She would be there with bells on after all. Her outfit was casual, but Jen felt put together. She grabbed a faded denim jacket and her backpack from the coat tree near her basement entrance. She hurried out the door excited for her date.
After sleeping through both breakfast and lunch Jen wasn’t surprised when her stomach began to growl as she drove. She decided to stop for a burger at a fast-food joint on the way to Missy’s. As she inched her VW bug closer to the car in front of her in line, she wondered why it was called fast food. This was taking forever. Would she have enough time to eat and freshen up in the bathroom before 6:00? One of the few things she didn’t tolerate in others was tardiness. She hated that she might be late.
She needn’t worry as she pulled into the parking lot behind the building. There were plenty of spaces and she caught a glimpse of a group of boys hurrying in through the back door.
She went around to the front, and entered. Should she sit at the bar? Kelly seemed to know the bartender and the drag queens. But if they wanted to chat it would be better to have their own table. Jen went to the same table near the front window she had sat at the previous night hoping to catch Kelly as soon as she came in.
Jen sat there for what seemed like an hour. She looked at her watch it had only been five minutes. The same bartender as last night- came by and placed a beer on her table as if she was a regular. She smiled and said “Thank you.” She reached for her backpack to get her wallet to pay, he shook his head.
“You’re a friend of Kelly’s, so first ones on the house,” he said. Then he quickly returned behind the bar to attend to the group of boys there. Knowing Kelly had its perks.
As it got closer to six, Jen sighed and retrieved her notebook to pass the time. She doodled on the page where Kelly had left her phone number. Had she been stood up? No one else had come in since she had gotten there.
Where was Kelly?
Your story is one that needs to be told. Everyone is special in this world. Sometimes people shy away from those who are different from them. I think it is more about fear. Thank you for sharing these. God loves all of us equally. He made us. But it is good to understand our differences. Loved this!
Your stories are written beautifully, and so heartfelt. I be loved it